1. While the University of Florida gets the assets, the University of Utah gets hosed… in the ass.

Seriously, why not adopt a bloody plus-1 format already? Florida finished the season with a blemish on their record, while Utah did not. The result:  the only undefeated BCS team got the shaft big time.

Okay, I get it, the money issues. The “keep it in the family” mentality of the ‘BCS conferences.’ But, come on. Utah smacked Alabama around, and they didn’t even get a shot. Epic fail by the BCS.

2. Pittsburgh wins the Super Bowl… again.

What a bunch of lucky SOBs. I don’t care if they did have the best team last season. They didn’t play like the best team that day.

If it weren’t for two plays — the INT return for a TD and that great Santonio Holmes catch — it would have been a different game, different outcome, different champion.

3. Poor, poor Michigan State

As much as I like the University of North Carolina (yes, Michael Jordan has something to do with it), I really wanted to see Michigan State win that one for the people of the state that has now replaced Minnesota as the state I would first offer up to Canada to allow Puerto Rico to join the Union. (50 seems like a good number…you gotta give a little to get a little).

But I digress. Seriously, though, what a terrible game. Everyone in Michigan should have sensed that shit was an omen for the rest of the year to come…and gotten the hell out! Well, at least they gave it the ‘ol college try, right chaps?

4. The Master(baters)

This may be the only schpeel you get about golf from me. If Tiger is out of it by Sunday (and by Sundays, I mean the only 4 tournament Sundays that really count), then I flat-out don’t give a rip. Unless John Daly was in the mix. But that’s only because America loves the story of a hopeless alcoholic; the guy has a drink named after him for the love of Zeus.

Attn: PGA.

Once Le Tigre is too old to fist pump any longer, find a replacement fast. Because when he doesn’t play, no one cares!

5. NASCAR…

… I don’t care, and frankly neither should you. They are not athletes — I don’t care what argument you make. Bottom line:  Tony Stewart couldn’t run the 40-yard dash as fast as Gilbert Brown did back in the day, let alone run with anyone who is supposed to be able to in a pro sport.

There is NO ATHLETICISM involved in racing. Just quick reflexes, thorough hydration, knowing your automobile, the ability to hold your bladder, and in the case of 95% of the races in NASCAR, just hold the wheel at 10 o’clock to the left.

If NASCAR is a sport, then so are billiards, bowling, and everything else old fat people can still excel at because they are just games of skill masquerading as sports solely because ESPN (The Ocho) airs them from time to time.

6. More spring baseball, more steroids…

Are you surprised? Maybe you didn’t expect it from A-roid or Manny because you were blinded by your individual fandom towards them. But to be utterly shocked and appalled in this day and age of pro baseball…well, then, you sir or madam are naive and deserve every ounce of agony you had coming to you.

7. Brewers start quick…

…and blew their load by the All-Star break. I admit, I was very skeptical of them in Spring Training. They started fast, blew through June, and led the NL Central by a few games. Then the reality that the Crew no longer had two All-Star pitchers in the rotation set in fast. Go figure. Again, not surprised in the least.

But hey, as a Milwaukeean, win or lose, we’re here to tailgate, get drunk, and eat copious amounts of sausage. PROST!

Tailgating in Milwaukee is a sport in itself

8. Team USA is relevant in the world of soccer, hooray!

For those of you who are still too narrow-minded to like soccer and brush it off as a fairy sport, feel free to skip ahead. If this is the case and you are one of the aforementioned people, then I would gamble a good amount that you haven’t yet gone to a live major soccer event, especially overseas.

To witness how great the sport of soccer is, this is almost a requirement. It is a sad realization when one accepts the fact that world soccer fans are absolutely die-hard crazy, more so than anything I have witnessed in the U.S. (and that says a lot).

Anyways, for those in the know, the U.S. beat Spain in the semifinals of the Confed. Cup in South Africa. Spain, at the time, had just tied the record for most consecutive wins by a National team, and was widely regarded as either the first or second best team in the world.

Then in the final, the U.S. pulled a second half choke job (sorry guys, but it’s true) against the other best team in the world, Brazil.

The U.S. did, however, go on to win the CONCAF region for World Cup Qualifiers. Although they have since lost two key players to injury (one was in a car accident), I am still very excited about the potential for a good showing next summer at the World Cup.

9. KOBE!!!

I am a Lakers and Bucks fan. But after George Karl broke up the big three, I have been much more of a Lakers fan. Kobe is currently, and has been, my favorite player since Jesus Shuttlesworth left MKE for SEA; rather, got ran out of town by George Karl.

In defense of my Lakers fandom, my favorite player growing up was a Laker: Nick Van Exel. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know. I loved Jordan, but I loved NVE more for whatever reason.  In any event, it was good to see him win one without Shaq, who as of late looks like a shmuck.

10. Pittsburgh does it again

But this time it was on the ice. I don’t know much about hockey. But I do know the following: it’s fun to watch and is either the best or second best sport to watch live depending upon who you ask. I haven’t really cared all that much about hockey since the last lockout.

There are teams in cities that don’t support hockey and that really pisses me off (especially considering Milwaukee doesn’t have a pro team). My favorite team has always been the Pens (my best friend since 1st grade is a huge Pens fan), and my least favorite team has always been the Red Wings. So, needless to say, I was quite happy about the Stanley Cup finals.

Damn good year for sports in Pittsburgh

11. You knew I would be getting to this topic: Favre.

My feelings, thoughts, and opinions on this topic alone could be made into a book. So I will save the post about HeWhoShallNotBeNamed for later. Vuck Finnesota!

12. WE HAVE A HOME… and it’s name is TCF Bank *sigh*.

Well, the stadium is beautiful and the atmosphere is great. I wish I lived up there so I could go see my Gophers in action more (but that’s the only reason I still wish I lived in Minneapolis). Too bad we still kind of suck eyh?

Here’s to a season that will most likely end in a loss at the ThisBowlDoesNotEvenMatterSoChangeTheChannel.com Bowl. Here’s to next year and a good off season of recruiting… RAH!

13. The Yankees prevail… evil reigns supreme… Aaron rejoices?

Okay, I wanted the Yankees to win. I cheered for them for many reasons that you can hate me for. One, for sure, isn’t very logically sound.

A) A-rod played his single A ball in my home town, I got to meet him, I have a few of his autographs, the Timber Rattlers (formerly the Appleton Foxes — the team he and Big Papi played for) are now a minor league affiliate of the Brewers by the way.

B) I love hating the Yankees. But, lets face it; it’s not fun to hate on someone constantly if they are always down. Hell, they hadn’t won it in a while, regardless of how much I hate them because they buy all their players and perceived championships for astronomical amounts of loot.

The bottom line is they hadn’t been to the top of the mountain in almost a decade. It’s always best to knock the bully down when he is atop his high horse. And if baseball is going to continue it’s non-salary cap ways, then I might as well be able to hate the Evil Empire.

C) C.C: Dude gave his heart and soul for the Crew and threw out his arm at the tail end of the regular season. Just so we could say we made it back to the playoffs (prior to last year, in all of American pro sports, no team had a longer playoff drought than the Brewers).

He even wanted to stay with the Crew, and if it weren’t for the MLBPA practically forcing his hand to sign the NY deal, he most likely would have (this, btw, is more fact than speculation, if you care for me to explain it to you, I will later).

A collection of topics (and anything related to them) I plan to write about in the coming weeks:

Packers, Bucks, Gopher football/basketball, NBA, NFL, Vikings, HeWhoShallNotBeNamed, MLS Cup Final, etc.

That does it; I hope you liked numero uno. This is Mav, pulling the eject handle… WATCH THE GLASS CEILING!!!

If there is anything specific you want to hear my outlandish opinion on, just ask, and it will be duly noted.