WiscoSportsTalk

The N.F.L. (Not Fair League)

We are officially less than one week away from Super Sunday. I will be making the journey up to the Twin Cities by way of Milwaukee for me and my college cronies’ big game party. I am looking forward to it. Not to mention being able to pour a little more salt in the still fresh wounds of my friends up there who cheer for a group of lesser men, who go out on Sundays to play football dawning the color purple. Speaking of the Super Bowl and the Vikings, as a certain narcissistic big boned 4^th grader from South Park elementary would say, “ha ha ha ha ha ha.” But in all seriousness, did you see the best looking highlight Favre was a part of making during the NFC Championship game? If you guessed it was all those TV shots of his daughter, I would agree. Okay, okay enough about the Vikings, Favre, and their players who are too busy ‘recovering’ through practice (due to partying at Miami night clubs) rather than appearing in their first Pro Bowl game, and on to other notes.

First and foremost, congrats goes out to “Who Dat?” nation. My heart still goes out for the people of the gulf coast region. So as not to take anything away from the great hardships being undertaken currently in Haiti, New Orleans and the gulf coast region still have a long way to go on the road to recovery. Sadly, it is a road they may not see the end of, and I feel as a nation that we have forgotten about them all too quickly. I will say this last bit about the NFC Championship game. As much as I hate to admit it, the better team lost that Sunday. The Saints will have to play much better against the Colts to beat them in the big game, and unless you are from Indiana or U of TN alum, I hope you will be rooting for the Saints come Super Sunday.

Speaking of “Who Dat”, if you haven’t read anything about the NFL attempting to slap a TM on that phrase, then you should. The NFL really has turned itself into a fairly evil money hoarding empire whose ego has gotten too big for my taste thanks in large part to Emperor Goodell. Case in point, the NFL just recently asked for exemption to the antitrust laws and regulations (even though it is a blatant monopoly), which I am happy report the Supreme Court tossed out their request almost immediately. In addition, are you aware that when the NFL files its taxes with the IRS every spring, it categorizes itself as “not for profit” as in a NPO. A NPO, seriously, no joke. There is no reason for any president or CEO of any NPO to make more than $150,000.00 in a year. Yet, when Paul Tagliabue was still the head cheese, he pocketed roughly 80 times that for an annual year of service and it is rumored that Goodell makes upwards of $18,000,000.00 plus bonuses. Think about it, the NFL, a tax exempt organization, that takes in roughly $7billion (with a ‘B’) dollars (not yen) in revenue (and growing) annually doesn’t have to contribute to the same pool you and I do that goes to fund schools, fill pot holes, fight fires, and defeat terrorists.  Yet somehow, when a new stadium goes up, tax-payers tend to shell out a large chunk for the tab. Strange, I know. And don’t even get me started on the whole ‘concussion committee’ the NFL paid to produce less than balanced results for its “in depth research” project to present to the Senate committee, or this NFL in Europe business. Though the later is the least serious of all of the above topics, football is America’s game, and even the mentioning of hosting an over seas Super Bowl one day should be considered high treason, and a lynch mob should be formed. Look, I am a red-blooded American just like you. I eat too much red meat, love my football, love my Lite beer (because real friends won’t let you be a ‘ght’er), and take my women the same way I take my coffee, hot. But the NFL really has gotten out of control.

Threatening legal action against shop owners trying to revive a spirit and a profit in a city that was absolutely decimated 4 years ago by the worst natural disaster in our nation’s history, for selling t-shirts with the phrase “Who Dat” on them?!?! Because the NFL thinks it owns the rights to a phrase the people of the city of New Orleans have used for more than a half century, so it can make a couple extra bucks?!?! That sir or madam is the straw that broke my camel’s back. Two words for you NFL, public domain! To go one step further, forget the No Fun League. They have the nerve to fine Ochocinco $30k every time he does something goofy and fun on the field (I mean, ’cause fans don’t want to be entertained at football games they pay to go to right?), though he has been nothing short of a class act off the field. At least the fine money gets donated to charity. Too bad it’s the NFL who get’s to take the credit and add that to its donation total and not Chad. Welcome to the Not Fair League.

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My 13: The Best & Worst From the Past Year in Sports (1-8)

1. While the University of Florida gets the assets, the University of Utah gets hosed… in the ass.

Seriously, why not adopt a bloody plus-1 format already? Florida finished the season with a blemish on their record, while Utah did not. The result:  the only undefeated BCS team got the shaft big time.

Okay, I get it, the money issues. The “keep it in the family” mentality of the ‘BCS conferences.’ But, come on. Utah smacked Alabama around, and they didn’t even get a shot. Epic fail by the BCS.

2. Pittsburgh wins the Super Bowl… again.

What a bunch of lucky SOBs. I don’t care if they did have the best team last season. They didn’t play like the best team that day.

If it weren’t for two plays — the INT return for a TD and that great Santonio Holmes catch — it would have been a different game, different outcome, different champion.

3. Poor, poor Michigan State

As much as I like the University of North Carolina (yes, Michael Jordan has something to do with it), I really wanted to see Michigan State win that one for the people of the state that has now replaced Minnesota as the state I would first offer up to Canada to allow Puerto Rico to join the Union. (50 seems like a good number…you gotta give a little to get a little).

But I digress. Seriously, though, what a terrible game. Everyone in Michigan should have sensed that shit was an omen for the rest of the year to come…and gotten the hell out! Well, at least they gave it the ‘ol college try, right chaps?

4. The Master(baters)

This may be the only schpeel you get about golf from me. If Tiger is out of it by Sunday (and by Sundays, I mean the only 4 tournament Sundays that really count), then I flat-out don’t give a rip. Unless John Daly was in the mix. But that’s only because America loves the story of a hopeless alcoholic; the guy has a drink named after him for the love of Zeus.

Attn: PGA.

Once Le Tigre is too old to fist pump any longer, find a replacement fast. Because when he doesn’t play, no one cares!

5. NASCAR…

… I don’t care, and frankly neither should you. They are not athletes — I don’t care what argument you make. Bottom line:  Tony Stewart couldn’t run the 40-yard dash as fast as Gilbert Brown did back in the day, let alone run with anyone who is supposed to be able to in a pro sport.

There is NO ATHLETICISM involved in racing. Just quick reflexes, thorough hydration, knowing your automobile, the ability to hold your bladder, and in the case of 95% of the races in NASCAR, just hold the wheel at 10 o’clock to the left.

If NASCAR is a sport, then so are billiards, bowling, and everything else old fat people can still excel at because they are just games of skill masquerading as sports solely because ESPN (The Ocho) airs them from time to time.

6. More spring baseball, more steroids…

Are you surprised? Maybe you didn’t expect it from A-roid or Manny because you were blinded by your individual fandom towards them. But to be utterly shocked and appalled in this day and age of pro baseball…well, then, you sir or madam are naive and deserve every ounce of agony you had coming to you.

7. Brewers start quick…

…and blew their load by the All-Star break. I admit, I was very skeptical of them in Spring Training. They started fast, blew through June, and led the NL Central by a few games. Then the reality that the Crew no longer had two All-Star pitchers in the rotation set in fast. Go figure. Again, not surprised in the least.

But hey, as a Milwaukeean, win or lose, we’re here to tailgate, get drunk, and eat copious amounts of sausage. PROST!

8. Team USA is relevant in the world of soccer, hooray!

For those of you who are still too narrow-minded to like soccer and brush it off as a fairy sport, feel free to skip ahead. If this is the case and you are one of the aforementioned people, then I would gamble a good amount that you haven’t yet gone to a live major soccer event, especially overseas.

To witness how great the sport of soccer is, this is almost a requirement. It is a sad realization when one accepts the fact that world soccer fans are absolutely die-hard crazy, more so than anything I have witnessed in the U.S. (and that says a lot).

Anyways, for those in the know, the U.S. beat Spain in the semifinals of the Confed. Cup in South Africa. Spain, at the time, had just tied the record for most consecutive wins by a National team, and was widely regarded as either the first or second best team in the world.

Then in the final, the U.S. pulled a second half choke job (sorry guys, but it’s true) against the other best team in the world, Brazil.

The U.S. did, however, go on to win the CONCAF region for World Cup Qualifiers. Although they have since lost two key players to injury (one was in a car accident), I am still very excited about the potential for a good showing next summer at the World Cup.

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My 13: The Best & Worst From the Past Year in Sports (9-13)

9. KOBE!!!

I am a Lakers and Bucks fan. But after George Karl broke up the big three, I have been much more of a Lakers fan. Kobe is currently, and has been, my favorite player since Jesus Shuttlesworth left MKE for SEA; rather, got ran out of town by George Karl.

In defense of my Lakers fandom, my favorite player growing up was a Laker: Nick Van Exel. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know. I loved Jordan, but I loved NVE more for whatever reason.  In any event, it was good to see him win one without Shaq, who as of late looks like a shmuck.

10. Pittsburgh does it again

But this time it was on the ice. I don’t know much about hockey. But I do know the following: it’s fun to watch and is either the best or second best sport to watch live depending upon who you ask. I haven’t really cared all that much about hockey since the last lockout.

There are teams in cities that don’t support hockey and that really pisses me off (especially considering Milwaukee doesn’t have a pro team). My favorite team has always been the Pens (my best friend since 1st grade is a huge Pens fan), and my least favorite team has always been the Red Wings. So, needless to say, I was quite happy about the Stanley Cup finals.

11. You knew I would be getting to this topic: Favre.

My feelings, thoughts, and opinions on this topic alone could be made into a book. So I will save the post about HeWhoShallNotBeNamed for later. Vuck Finnesota!

12. WE HAVE A HOME… and it’s name is TCF Bank *sigh*.

Well, the stadium is beautiful and the atmosphere is great. I wish I lived up there so I could go see my Gophers in action more (but that’s the only reason I still wish I lived in Minneapolis). Too bad we still kind of suck eyh?

Here’s to a season that will most likely end in a loss at the ThisBowlDoesNotEvenMatterSoChangeTheChannel.com Bowl. Here’s to next year and a good off season of recruiting… RAH!

13. The Yankees prevail… evil reigns supreme… Aaron rejoices?

Okay, I wanted the Yankees to win. I cheered for them for many reasons that you can hate me for. One, for sure, isn’t very logically sound.

A) A-rod played his single A ball in my home town, I got to meet him, I have a few of his autographs, the Timber Rattlers (formerly the Appleton Foxes — the team he and Big Papi played for) are now a minor league affiliate of the Brewers by the way.

B) I love hating the Yankees. But, lets face it; it’s not fun to hate on someone constantly if they are always down. Hell, they hadn’t won it in a while, regardless of how much I hate them because they buy all their players and perceived championships for astronomical amounts of loot.

The bottom line is they hadn’t been to the top of the mountain in almost a decade. It’s always best to knock the bully down when he is atop his high horse. And if baseball is going to continue it’s non-salary cap ways, then I might as well be able to hate the Evil Empire.

C) C.C: Dude gave his heart and soul for the Crew and threw out his arm at the tail end of the regular season. Just so we could say we made it back to the playoffs (prior to last year, in all of American pro sports, no team had a longer playoff drought than the Brewers).

He even wanted to stay with the Crew, and if it weren’t for the MLBPA practically forcing his hand to sign the NY deal, he most likely would have (this, btw, is more fact than speculation, if you care for me to explain it to you, I will later).

A collection of topics (and anything related to them) I plan to write about in the coming weeks:

Packers, Bucks, Gopher football/basketball, NBA, NFL, Vikings, HeWhoShallNotBeNamed, MLS Cup Final, etc.

That does it; I hope you liked numero uno. This is Mav, pulling the eject handle… WATCH THE GLASS CEILING!!!

If there is anything specific you want to hear my outlandish opinion on, just ask, and it will be duly noted.

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